Tiger By The Tail Tool
Secret 52: Scotch Meeting
My former business partner used to be someone who would let things build and fester emotionally until he’d blow up at staff or at me. It gave him some temporary relief to yell and maybe throw something, but it undermined relationships on our team. He didn’t feel good about it, and neither did I. He was an absolutely terrific guy and I didn’t want to see his relationships with staff damaged or our friendship strained due to his outbursts.
We agreed that we needed a system to bring things up before they became an explosive situation, so we developed what became a formal methodology. We called it a “Scotch Meeting” in which we’d manage our partnership, our friendship, and any pressing work issues before they had a chance to fester.
The format and method went like this:
- If an issue was bothering one of us, that person would say, “I need to have a Scotch Meeting.” It served as a gentle notification that there was a problem that needed some discussion.
- The response was always yes, because as part of the process, neither of us could decline an invitation. We’d ask how soon the meeting was needed—today, this week, next week? The timing of the meeting was an indicator of the seriousness of the issue or the emotional intensity behind the request.
- We’d meet offsite away from the office, partly to get out of our surroundings, but also to be in a public place where we’d have to address things in a civilized manner—just like Jerry Maguire in the movie when he was fired in a public place so he wouldn’t make a scene.
- We’d each order a Scotch. It could have been wine, beer, coffee, or soda, but we both liked Scotch, and it was a good icebreaker for us. The alcohol took the edge off, and we could discuss things more openly. We’d start the conversation after no more than one Scotch.
- The conversation would begin: “So you called this Scotch Meeting, what would you like to discuss?” The convener then had the floor until he was done expressing his concern or frustration. The important element here was the other person’s commitment to listening without responding, because the invitee needed to really understand the problem at hand.
- We would then move to discussing solutions. Sometimes it was an easy fix, a simple suggestion that we could both agree on. Sometimes we talked at length trying to find a work-around. Sometimes we just ordered more Scotch and the problem seemed to dissolve until we couldn’t remember it (because sometimes we just needed our business partner to hear us, and to personally reconnect).
- We didn’t set ultimatums or demand that a problem needed to be solved in a particular way. It had to be a solution we defined together, one that worked for both of us, and one that we could unanimously support and put in place together.
- The primary rule was that we wouldn’t end the Scotch Meeting without a solution. When we came up with one, we’d implement it right away to ensure that the issue wouldn’t resurface or remain outstanding.
The Scotch Meeting protocol is one of the most effective tools I’ve ever used for managing the emotional component of business relationships. It has the capacity to move issues from a scary place of silence and growing frustration to getting things out in the open quickly and collaboratively to find solutions. It isn’t a concept limited to just business partnerships.
In my consulting work, I’ve introduced the Scotch Meeting protocol to companies to use for their management teams, or sometimes across an entire organization. In these circumstances, we’ve found it better to introduce the concept as a Coffee Meeting. Of course, it needs to be understood that the meeting isn’t a social get-together over a cup of Joe, but a friendly problem-solving session, whatever the beverage of choice. The intention and purpose of the meeting is very specific.
The Scotch Meeting protocol has generated more positive feedback and resolved more issues than my former business partner and I ever imagined. It is a fantastic tool for business owners and partners serious about their relationships and long-term success.
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